Brent and The Outhouse Bear
As hunters, we all like to have fun and in a camp environment there is always someone trying to play a joke on another fellow hunter. In this particular story he is affectionately called “Stinkman”or T.
He was quite a character, I swear he thought about how to prank someone for a whole year. Further I also know that he practiced his homemade curry, time and time again on himself. Mix that with beer, wieners, you name it and well…you have a stink bomb, ready to go off.
T prided himself on his reputation of making everyone dive for the doors and windows as the silent stink bomb was released. The only sign of this happening, was that silly grin on T’s face. T is a big man, 6’ 2’’ and three hundred pounds. Kind of like a bear, which they also called him.
On this one particular hunt, we were up and at it ready to go back deep into the bush. T also lived up in the area we hunted , in a place called Laswade. Very rough country for sure, he had mentioned that he had been seeing quite the outbreak of bears. We told him that we had tags, just in case.
His brother Brent, hated bears and was scared shitless of them…which as you will later see, he had good reason to be. So we all headed off and the day was a beauty, nice and cold in the morning and then the afternoon sun, a very welcome addition.
All of a sudden, we heard the crack of Brent’s 30-30, not one shot, but he emptied the gun, with the last shot being staggered.
The final bullet of his magazine. What the heck had he nailed?
T radioed his brother…silence…again he radioed, more silence.
Concerned for his brother, he jumped on his quad and found Brent.
Brent was shaking like a leaf and as white as a ghost.
He muttered, “Bear big…friggin Bear, last shot in my gun, kicked him over with my foot!!”
T started to roar, “Man are you lucky!”
Brent said, “I have to go back and change my underwear!”
T went into hysterics, because in fact, he had soiled himself.
Now, T seeing the opportunity, had a master plan up his sleeve. But first we had to have his famous, curry, and beans, and beer recipe…So that “Stinkman” could be at his best. I can still see his grin and hear his laughter as we gasped for air.
Now his brother Brent was still shaking from the encounter and he decided that he was going to really tie one on with his rum.
Brent re-told the story of how he saw the massive bruin walking sideways at about a hundred yards. Of how he decided that he would try the shot. He underestimated the size of the bear. Luckily for him that last staggered shot was the final one, but upon skinning it we could see that he had hit the bear with all shots. Just a very big 450 lb male. A 30-30, well not my choice, but just the same it was over, or was it?
That night T had a plan. He wanted us to help him prank Brent, Brent had a cabin beside T’s and the two outhouses were side by side. It was a safe bet that T’s curry concoction would soon have its effect, on us all.
It was very dark and poor Brent, well he had a rough day, but not rough enough, as T was up to no good. Brent got up in the night to go to the biff.
T said, “Okay guys, let’s do this!”
So as Brent sat nice and contented in the outhouse, we propped the bear he shot that afternoon up outside of the outhouse.
Brent started saying, “Who is out there? Is that you guys!!??”
We know he stayed longer in the outhouse because we never said a word, but we made plenty of noise.
Poor guy, T started to growl and make some real life bear sounds. Brent became unglued. Well let me tell you when Brent finally opened that outhouse door and saw the bear was propped up, and I mean WOW was it real looking. I thought we were going to have to call 911. That look, we all will never forget!
The laughter erupted and although he would never say, we know that he …. himself again.
To this day, T and Brent still talk about this prank and we were lucky enough to be part of it.
Another tail from the Squirrell’s Nest from Brian “Bear” Squirrell at Big Bear Outfitters – Nova Scotia your hunting and fishing guide.